Reflection

Not knowing when you’ll see a friend again is probably the worst feeling in the world.  Goodbyes are seriously the worst.  But I’m trying not to dwell on all of the goodbyes because I have to concentrate on mentally preparing myself to 
a) see my family again 
b) eat actual food again instead of the absolute rubbish I've been eating the past week and 
c) work like crazy before I move back to NCC.  

I’m supposed to write a reflection on my study abroad experience as part of my GLS class requirements. Actually, I was planning on writing a reflection anyway.  Believe it or not, this English major loves to write.  I have grown quite fond of this blog.  And I suppose the whole point of this blog is to track my progress and write down my experiences.  So in a way, this entire blog part of my reflection.  

Anyway, I've said goodbye to a number of people, starting with Tessa and Josephine on Friday and ending with Sarah this morning.  And there are still a few that I need to see before I leave on Monday.  For the most part, I feel really sad right now and I just want to hightail it out of here.  I really do feel at home in Canterbury, but without all of my friends, it’s just another medieval English city with souvenir shops and upscale tea rooms.  Because my friends are leaving to go home for Christmas holiday, I’m ready to leave, too.

Yet somehow home seems further away than ever right now.  It’s not that I don’t want to go back.  I miss my family SO MUCH.  But there’s no denying the fact that Canterbury is my second home and it will still feel like part of my home for some time.  Who knows how long that feeling will last..?

  

I’m about to get real deep, here.  So you can’t say I didn’t warn you. 

Me, Kaitlyn, and Sarah <3

As cliché as I know this is, it has to be stated:  I have learned a lot about myself over the past 3 months.  I started this term with an attitude of “I can do this and I don’t need anyone’s help.”  It turned out that being Miss Independent not only takes time and practice, it also takes a certain kind of maturity.  I thought I possessed this maturity, but I definitely didn't.  To be honest, I don’t think this kind of maturity can be acquired in just 3 months.  So while I would like to say, “I’m completely 100% independent after my term in Canterbury” I realise that this statement would be false.  Sorry if that’s not what you were expecting, guys.  But it’s true. 

Know what else is true?  Friendship.  Without friends, I would have melted into a puddle of sadness and dripped down the cobblestone streets of Canterbury with the rainwater.  Seriously, though.  Nobody goes abroad and survives without friends – old and new.  You just can’t do it alone.  The people who have befriended me were purposefully put into my life to make me laugh, to challenge me, and to listen to me.  Friendship is invaluable.  The friends I have here are invaluable.  And I mean that.

Saying goodbye to Georgia at Waitrose (our favourite spot)

Georgia's coming to NCC next fall! Woo!!

Perhaps most importantly, I have learned a lot about the world over the past 3 months.  There is so much more to this world than just me.  The problems I deal with on a daily basis are so small and insignificant compared to the issues that each country faces and that mankind faces (yeah, I told you I was gonna get deep).  England truly has a global perspective that is not found in the States.  *Spoiler alert* America is NOT the centre of the universe.  Extremely biased media, Hollywood, the U.S. government shutdown… it’s all such a pain in the butt.  And it’s embarrassing.  Never in my life have I felt embarrassed to be American, until this term abroad. 

Now before you call me crazy and accuse me of disloyalty, stop and think about the issues the U.S. deals with and how the rest of the world views Americans.  It’s not pretty, friends.  It’s just not.  We should fix that.

I still love my country and I’m still proud to be an American despite all of this.  However, being abroad has rightly given me a more global perspective.

Tonight we are headed to Spoons to have a chill night out.  Tomorrow I plan on going to a Sunday church service at the cathedral and then possibly heading out to Dover for the afternoon.  Oh.  And packing.  And eating my feelings. 

You can expect another sappy post on Sunday night, when I'm even more of an emotional wreck.  

Have a good night, folks!